Hilarious Quotes by Author

In bed

In bed, it’s 6 AM. You close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At work, it’s 1:30. Close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31. ~ Anonymous

I didn’t fall

I didn’t fall. The floor just needed a hug. ~ Anonymous

No Trespassing

No Trespassing. Violators will be shot. Survivors will be shot again. ~ Anonymous

Your attitude may hurt me

Your attitude may hurt me, but mine can even kill you. ~ Anonymous

My life is a constant battle

My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to be fat. ~ Anonymous

Me and You

Me and You is Friends You Smile, I Smile..You Hurt..I Hurt..You Cry, I Cry..You Jump off a Bridge I’m Gonna Miss your E-mails. ~ Anonymous

The perfect lover

The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 a.m. ~ Charles Pierce

My husband said

My husband said he needed more space….So I locked him Outside! ~ Anonymous

My Laziness

My Laziness is exactly as the number 8. If it lays down, It becomes Infinite. ~ Anonymous

Perfect boyfriend

Perfect boyfriend: Does not Drink, Does not Smoke, Does not Cheat and also Does not Exist. ~ Anonymous

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